Dear CWB Readers: Are you still a full-time housewife?

Ola Emmanuel
| credits: PUNCH

financial empowerment may not be because of today, it is about under what condition you should live after today. And when a family, to be led by two people (a man and a woman), is saddled with one of them not productively engaged to bring in income to augment what the other person could provide, it is like a bird trying to fly with one wing instead of two.

In this environment, it is the woman – the wife – that often stays at home under the pretence of taking care of the children. Notwithstanding the amount of money invested to acquire a degree, quite a sizeable number of women are satisfied by not using the knowledge they acquired at school but stay at home as full time housewife. Many women are talked into this by their men that they (men) are able to provide their needs. Also, some women see staying at home and taking care of the home front as work they consider big enough for full time engagement.

Whether handling the home is arduous a task or not is secondary here. The main concern is its sustainability and the economic side – the ability to productively engage the mind in tasks that bring life-long income.

Many women believe that once they get married, it is the sole responsibility of their husbands to provide for all their needs. Theirs? To sleep, wake up, eat, and sleep again. Do you say such women must be lazy individuals?

Let’s settle this before we go far discussing the issue: a man who coerces, deceives, threatens or cajoles his wife to permanently stay at home is a consumer of another human being. It is a deliberate attempt to consume the woman; rendering her economic capacity useless. By the time the man is longer available to provide her needs, the woman is left dry in the sun – not knowing what to do or where to start from to at least take care of herself.

In today’s Nigeria where providing for family needs has become so tough, it is bothersome that we still have several women who choose to be literally glued to their beds in the name of being a housewife. When they managed to extricate themselves from their beds, the next thing the fingers could clutch is the television remote control. 

When this pattern becomes a lifestyle, a housewife tends to believe that the only contribution she owes people around her is just her presence; and she considers this a great favour on her part to the people. Her idea about living is that she should be well provided for and decorated beautifully without her being troubled or bothered to make any economic contribution. When her demands could no longer be matched, the situation becomes unmanageable and the home front becomes unbearable.

Problems in several homes today are caused by lack of proper planning. If today is financially secured, what about tomorrow if unceremoniously the source or provider of family income goes with the wind. Not a few women’s existences have been shattered by unexpected and unfortunate incidents happening to their bread winners. Some suddenly realised that they must now provide for the family members – and the question is where would they start from?

It is absolutely unhealthy for a married woman – or a man – to underutilise her productive capacity or become an idle hand. Such a family’s quality of living cannot be described as being at optimum.

When the brain is not gainfully engaged, it begins to rust. When a housewife – or househusband you say – is left with rusty hands, rusty intellect, obsolete skills (or no skill at all) they have no other choice than to become beggars, seeking assistance or engaging in some anti-social behaviours to feed themselves and their children.

As far as adding financial value is concerned, a housewife may qualify as a parasite, a leech, a liability, and a minus – because over a period her mind may no longer be able to process current information to offer qualitative counsel for good decisions. 

The fact is that this person cannot see reason why she needs to make a contribution to the common good of the family. She is not concerned about adding value to anyone or the environment, and she never attempt to do something that will bring income. She believes her future is secured by the fact that someone else is providing food, shelter, clothing, and social interactions.

Suppose the ‘sole provider’ suddenly become incapacitated or drop dead, a housewife never gives this a thought. And are you so confident about inheritance? At times hope and expectation are dashed. I should wake you up with a good kick on your side.